Clackamas PFLAG Contact and Their Current Project

Gary writes:

I do have all the information for contacting Marion.


Marion writes:

Thank you for contacting me. We would love to partner in any way that might be helpful for you. We are currently working toward a GSA Prom on April 26 and are attempting to get the word out to all Clackamas County Youth. Our next planning meeting is April 2, 5:00PM, Atkinson Memorial Church in Oregon City and we need all the help we can get for planning.



I am attaching a flyer for you to post and distribute in your community.I am also recently reviewed materials from PFLAG for their new project Straight for Equality "guide to being a straight ally"http://www.straightforequality.org/ This material might be helpful in your process. Call me if you want to talk or get together for coffee sometime. Good look in your work with ELCA. It is important work.

Proposal for an Action Plan to present at next month's Council Meeting

We will want to finalize our proposal for how to proceed with RIC Discernment at the next RIC meeting. It will be presented at the next council meeting. This is not the detailed plan but what do you think about giving each month an alliterative name in the process. Again, this is can be changed and is given here only as an example:

May - Moving Forward with Momentum
June - Join Together
July - Journey Through Stories
August - Affirmation (A draft affirmation for initial approval)
September - Survey (Congregation surveyed on the draft affirmation)
October - Ongoing Refinement
November - New Revisions
December - Double-check
January - Journey Part II

Let me know your thoughts, questions or concerns.

LCNA RIC Core Team Meeting

Anyone who attended the RIC training is welcome to become part of the LCNA Core Team.

The invitation is from Rev. Mary Peterson:

We had a productive gathering at the RIC training on Sunday March 9 to discuss the plan and action of the RIC core team for the Portland Metro Chapter. One of the items we talked about was re-energizing our core team for those who have been involved in the past and those who have recently attended the training.

With that momentum, there will be a meeting on Tuesday evening at 7pm on March 25th at Central Lutheran, Portland. We will plan to meet from 7-8:30pm. Please let me know if you can attend.

Elaboration on Collaboration with the Congregation on Affirmation

Sorry, I could not resist the title. :)

It is simpler than it sounds.

Reading the inclusive language of Creator's Charter (or mission statement that is framed), together with the story Pastor Dayle related in her sermon the Sunday before last, I'm convinced a completely inclusive welcome is a core value for most, if not all, of the congregation.

One question Janice brought up was how many in the congregation are comfortable technically on the internet. If we create a devoted space, similar to this blog, for collaborative work on the language of the Affirmation of Welcome, will they come?

A description of what we are accomplishing would be included (an explicit welcome for all those who may not feel welcome based on past history) and the invitation would be for the congregation to consider times when they felt most welcomed themselves or realized they were proud of Creator's welcome to another and / or those times they felt least welcome or saw someone did not experience that welcome.

The entire congregation could be invited by email, mail and newsletter to contribute either by directly updating the blog, or mailing in their contributions, or perhaps dropping off their contributions at the church. The blog would be updated to reflect the non-blog contributions.

We could post hightlights of the blog on the RIC Bulletin Board. We may brainstorm how to promote this activity. When we have an affirmation of welcome distilled from the blog we could use a survey tool to poll the congregation to insure we have the affirmation the congregation approves of before the January meeting.

Benefits:

Congregation may play a part in our process quickly and simultaneously (no waiting for group meetings)

Contributions may be anonymous (any flames may be filtered out but keep their perspective)

Reading various pieces of welcome of others may inspire the congregation

We may address non-GLBT welcome issues that should be incorporated into our affirmation

We may see if there is opinion against GLBT without getting into a situation of potential conflict


Drawbacks:

The congregation may not take advantage of the blog. It becomes a less-attractive solution as a place to collaborate if it is not done directly by the congregation.

If relied on solely desired relationships may not be built and it may make it easier to put off 'one on ones'.



I don't advocate this be our only step but it makes sense as a first step to me. There may be a better idea. What I would like to see is:

1) The congregation engaged quickly

2) That no one feels left out because they are at the end of a process that takes time. People should not feel left out, particularly in a process about welcome

3) The congregation involved in something fun and inspiring. Having Creator's RIC discernment story be filled with "And then another extraordinary thing happened..." is something I am sure we are all after.

It would make sense to present our proposed next steps for RIC at the April council meeting. Pastor Dayle reports we have 87 out of 120 familes on the church email list. Also Pastor Dayle is revisiting the core values and mission definitions that came from the work of the Vision Quest team.

Another step we may want to take soon is to start practicing one on one sessions with one another in preparation for the meetings ahead.

RIC Training Resources Available

I have a copy of Doing Justice: Congregations and Community Organizing by Dennis A Jacobsen available for borrowing. This details many of the ideas that came up during the RIC training. It is the book they recommend participants read before the training.

Comments on Previous Posts

I also posted these comments which were my thoughts on Gretchen/Gary's comments:

While I agree with the statements of inviting everyone to come, I think Mary’s comments reflect reality—that even though everyone will be invited, I think that it will primarily be people who agree that will attend an "invited" forum. We are going to have proceed very carefully to make sure that those who do not agree feel as if they are in a safe place to voice those disagreements because the bottom line is that regardless of whether we openly say it or not they KNOW where we stand on the issue. And, unfortunately, the meetings could be viewed as a situations of potential conflict and few people will eagerly approach the discomfort that could arise. Since I wasn’t able to attend the rest of the training—are we talking about specifically one on one discussions, not a group?

Janice

Dayle's first assignment complete

As we discussed last Thursday, I spoke with the h.s. youth about participating in RIC.

I asked if they had stories to share, are a part of the school's gay/straight alliance or would like to be on the team to talk to Gary, Gretchen, Toni or me. I was pleased that I didn't get a glassy-eyed stare. I know that at least one of our h.s. juniors is in the gay/straight alliance at Clackamas h.s. I'll keep the conversation going.

I'm still interested in looking at discerning the core values of the congregation. After Easter, I'll go through the mission statement materials from 2 years ago and then take a look at the original mission statement (framed in the narthex). The material is here, it's just putting in an form that make sense.

Dayle

Gretchen and Gary dialogue about groups

I'm transferring this email exchange into the blog, just for ease of referring back to the discussion:

Me: (in reference to Gary's message above about small groups)

I guess that I see this step a bit differently than dividing people into groups to change their minds…J

I see it as a necessary piece of getting to discussion of what people value – something that cannot happen in large groups. The informality of the small group and a gradual move into the discussion of welcome and (we can’t avoid it) LGBT people would hopefully lead to some sense of safety that would allow people to open up and share their feelings, especially with the help of a facilitator whose job it would be to make sure that the group discussion doesn’t dissolve into debate or negativity.

Without creating space and time for those small group discussions to really find out where people are at, I worry that those who are having problems with the whole idea will simply get lost in the masses of those who are fine with RIC. And my goal would be that EVERYONE attend a group – invited specifically – not just those who will agree. We would need to carefully explain the purpose of the groups as exploration – not proselytizing or decision-making.

So, I see the groups as a method for finding out how the congregation feels and explore those feelings in a safe setting – not based on ANY assumptions. There is no better way than in face-to-face discussions.

Does that make any sense?

Gary writes:

Your feedback is very much appreciated. It is thoughtful, it does make sense, and I think the plan will be strengthened by our discussion of the next step moving forward.

First of all, please don't think I view this as a decision either inviting the congregation to help craft the affirmation of welcome or hosting the small group discussions. I do see the benefits of small group discussion. My question is if this should be our next step.

Gretchen, I believe you identified the following goals:

1) Inviting everyone and having them attend a group discussion

2) Discovering what the congregation values as individuals in the group setting

3) Determining how the congregation feels about explicitly welcoming GLBT in a safe space the group provides through the facilitator

4) Insuring all have the opportunity to be heard and that know their opinion counts

5) Explaining the purpose of the groups as exploration – not proselytizing or decision-making

The benefits of the small group sessions are strong assuming:

1) Everyone who is invited will attend. Based on invitational events I have seen in the past this is unlikely. If it is billed as an RIC event those who do not agree may not attend, simply hoping it goes away. Logistical issue: Are we going to continue to invite people who don't attend their initial group discussion?

2) All perspectives will be heard. Those against GLBT inclusion may be uncomfortable speaking out (I am thinking of our Living Faithfully sessions here)

3) We are not proselytizing or decision-making. If we show a DVD like "The Bible Tells Me So" at a hosted gathering we might view it as exploration but others may view it differently.

I'll come clean. I may have a distorted view of hosted groups based on invitation. There was a decision that every member would have the opportunity to meet a member of council a couple of years ago. We never met our council member simply because of that person's schedule. Yet as we heard about the meetings others were having, we felt left out.

An invitational meeting by zip code didn't go well for us either. The idea is that the meeting will be in geographic proximity but ours put us with members who lived far away from us (there few members in our particular zip code). We didn't attend when we realized how much time it would take to get there.

We understood what happened each time. Still, logistics have been problematic in the past and might be here.

Again, I don't feel the hosted small group is unworkable. I do see the benefits of inviting members to begin to craft our Affirmation of Welcome first because:

1) All can be invited at once. Emailed and/or mailed, an invitation can arrive at the same time. Depending on the small groups will stretch out the time before members get involved

2) Feedback can be anonymous. Anonymity is likely the most comfortable feedback for someone who is afraid of the RIC process.

3) We can quickly gain some information we do not have now. It will take months for all the groups to meet. The invitation will allow for quicker response. We may find there is not the opposition we anticipate and can adjust our plan accordingly.

4) The congregation can take action immediately. They can do something tangible that contributes to RIC discernment in helping create the Affirmation of Welcome.

5) There can be welcoming issues outside of GLBT we can address as quickly. We can talk about whether this can duck GLBT inclusion. I don't see that.

6) Who is invited? The congregational mailing list is by family. The group invitations may be trickier. Who do we invite? Will parents feel comfortable with their teens in these small groups? What if we encourage teens to attend if parents don't feel comfortable?

So, everyone, feel comfortable to weigh in on where our next step should be. If someone sees the benefit getting advice from LCNA on this decision, let's talk about that as well. All the issues associated with each step need to be ironed out anyway.

March Meeting Minutes and proposed plan for next step in RIC discernment

Hi Everyone,

Here are the minutes of the last RIC meeting, some thoughts and a suggestion concerning our RIC discernment.

At our Thursday meeting we read the proposed ELCA Social Statement on Human Sexuality, summarized our take-away from the RIC training, and started planning next steps in the RIC discernment at Creator.

RIC Training

Three of us at the meeting had attended the RIC training.

Toni mentioned that she was struck during that weekend by a quote from writer Frederick Beuchner: "Our vocation happens when our deep gladness meets the world's deep need." I am struck by the quote as well and I wonder if we can discover that deep gladness in the work we now have before us.

Pastor Dayle's take-away from the training was “the power of core values”. Throughout the weekend Creator was consistently used as an example during excercises because we had a large number of participants. Emily Eastwood, the lead facilitator, asked us to choose if baptism or communion was a stronger core value for our congregation. Everyone from Creator answered communion. Communion is a value we share that may help draw us to consensus in the future.

A moment of clarity for me during training was a declaration that "Action is the oxygen of a community organization. Without it our organizations and our power to change society die." I researched this and found the quote came from writer / community organizer Saul Alinsky.
At the training each participant voiced a promise to take action to another participant and also agreed to hold another participant accountable for an action that he or she will take by a particular deadline. I thought about people like our own Janice and how they would be energized by this.

RIC Discernment Plan

Next, at our Thursday meeting, we discussed our plan for RIC discernment at Creator, our next action items and the deadlines. See your email attachment for action items.

Since Thursday my wife Mary and I have talked about was proposed at the meeting: a plan to set up educational events at host homes, divide the congregation by zip code, and for the RIC team members to invite the congregational members on the list. I told her this was still a work in process.

In discussing our plan, she unknowingly engaged me in another piece of what we learned in training, a little agitation.

She asked "What is the RIC team doing?"

I answered her, "Developing an explicit affirmation of welcome that would be voted on at next January's congregational meeting."

She asked "Who will attend these events?"

I answered, “Based on past experience, the most likely attendees would be those who already take a positive view on the explicit affirmation of GLBT together with those who usually attend events like this.”

Her final question was "Are you trying to determine where the congregation currently stands, or are you trying to change the minds of those who don't agree with you?"

That question opened my eyes. I realized that we don't know how the congregation feels, we started to plan based on assumptions, and, essentially, we were sticking to our old plan that did not take into account our recent training. Also, dividing Creator into groups as a first step may not be one we want to take symbolically.

What has happened around the RIC process at Creator so far is remarkable. It began with the language of welcome used in our charter.

Also, Pastor Dayle reminded us last Sunday of the courage she needed to respond when, during her call interview with the congregation, Mary Steinberg asked her to expand on a remark she made about wanting the church to be “fully welcoming”.

After “her quick chat with God”, Pastor Dayle decided to talk about those Creator might be uncomfortable to welcome. The fact that Mary asked Pastor Dayle the question, that Pastor Dayle answered the way she did and that the congregation called her after her answer demonstrates something important about Creator. I wish I had been there.

That made me I think about recent incidents I have witnessed. At council, when Kelly spoke out and broke the flow of the meeting to bring our talk back to the RIC proposal that had been made when most council members wanted to end an overly long meeting. I saw his interruption as a gift I vividly remember. It confirmed that the time is now to start RIC discernment.

Gretchen's inspired RIC presentation at January's congregational meeting was a true moment of church. Also, that Toni, Mary and Janice were moved to take on this challenge and attend the RIC training is amazing. That a national RIC training happened here in Portland just as we started RIC discernment here is another piece of this incredible story.

So, what is next? I look back at what struck us at the training; deep gladness meeting deep need in our work, learning our core value of communion, and a commitment to action. Our first action in RIC discernment should engage us in work of deep gladness, help us articulate more of our core values like communion and allow everyone to take immediate action if they want.

Here is a suggestion. Let's ask the entire congregation to contribute to building Creator's affirmation of welcome now. We can tell them our goal of explicitly welcoming anyone who may not have felt welcome now or in the past. Bring in the "one on one" atmosphere we learned in training by having everyone think about when they felt deeply welcomed and when they didn't, particularly at Creator.

Our work would be to distill these words into an affirmation of welcome that celebrates that welcome when we do it right and challenges us when we don’t. I think it could be a goose-bump moment if done from the unity this process promises.

I can go into details later about how this collaboration would work.. We could survey the congregation on the distilled affirmation of welcome until we knew people would vote for it.

Let me know what you think.

Thanks,

Gary

Welcome to the Creator RIC Team's Blog

This will be our collaborative place to work on RIC discernment throughout the year. Let me know if there is anything you would like to see improved and I will see what I can do.

Gary